Blog | Tristonmorgan

The Seasons of Life – and How to Deal with Them

They say that the only constant thing in life is change. You can liken life as clouds in the sky – they are constantly changing form. Like it or not, change will come. That’s life, after all. We face various seasons of our lives that result in major transitions that necessitate a change in our lifestyle and outlook. Depending on how welcome the change is, it can be met with happiness, an openness to change and a positive attitude or it can be encountered with fear, anxiety and stress. It is important to realize that life transitions can be an uncertain (and even scary) time, but it can also be a time of growth. Transitions can be due to expected events or they can be unpredictable and unwelcome events. Examples of life transitions include: - Getting married and starting a family. This exciting phase in the life of couples can be a cause for much joy or stress. Becoming a parent is a challenge and will require much adjustment from the couple. Once the children com...

Weathering the Stormy Patches in Your Marriage

No marriage is storm-proof. Even with the best of unions, there are storms that a couple has to face. Perhaps because of changes they experience personally – with their feelings about each other, their going through different phases in their lives or facing addictions, their having substance abuse problems. The storms may also be due to other factors – money problems, issues with in-laws and children, the stress brought about by work…and the list goes on. Yes, you can expect stormy patches in a marriage – they will happen. Perhaps these stormy patches have you and your spouse tipping precariously close to divorce. The question is, how will you weather these storms and keep your marriage intact, even stronger for what you have both gone through. The good thing about weathering the storm together is that you emerge with more closeness and more trust in your partner as you get to know him or her better. Here are a few simple reminders to help you as you face the storms in life: -...

What if your Spouse Does Not Want to Go for Counseling?

Perhaps you feel that your marriage could use some help. You have broached it with your spouse – but he or she does not feel the need and refuses to go. This is one problem that has stopped many people from going to marriage counseling. Why the Reluctance? When you first suggest it, your partner may drag his or her heels about getting help from a marriage or family therapist. There are actually some reasons for the reluctance or resistance. These may include: - Their fear of sharing personal and intimate details with a stranger. - They are satisfied with the status quo and feel that such efforts will just rock the boat. - They are happy with the way they are and don’t want to make any changes. - They are happy with their position in the relationship (the level of power they currently hold) and fear that this may change if they undergo counseling. - The...

Marriage Counseling: Knowing When to Go

They say that a relationship is like a plant – you need to nurture it in order for it to grow stronger and form deeper roots. However, there may be times when storms come. During these instances, the damage done may need the intervention of a third party to help restore the health of the relationship. That is the reason why it is beneficial for couples to go for marriage counseling at certain times during their marriage. Your marriage is important enough to take some time to fix any areas that might be broken. Don’t wait until it’s too late The danger in waiting to go for marriage counseling occurs when things have gone too far. Don’t wait until it’s too late! Go for help as soon as there are signs of problems. There are instances when couples just drift apart. They become too busy with the everyday things, raising children or earning a living. Then, they suddenly realize that they are not partners and lovers anymore but simply two people liv...

Red Flags of an Unhappy Marriage

Do you have a happy marriage? Or is your marriage on shaky ground? Sometimes we go on in life and are not even aware that our relationship with our spouse has fallen by the wayside. Perhaps you and your spouse have busied yourself with life (and all its little details and demands) – getting the children to school every day, going to the office and facing the stresses and challenges there, working to save for a dream vacation or to pay off the mortgage and so many other things. Life may have taken over and before you know it, you and your spouse have drifted apart. In some cases, there are red flags that indicate an unhappy marriage. In cases where it’s clearly evident that a marriage is in trouble, it’s important to get some help as soon as possible. Marriage counseling can offer a great deal of help to couples who may be struggling to make it. If you think your marriage may be in trouble, seek help! It is normally worth it to work through your difficulties and com...

Money Matters: Talking the Money Talk with Your Spouse

Money, money, money! This is one of the main reasons why couples argue and fight, and when the differences become “irreconcilable”, the couple can face marital breakdown. In fact, finances are a hot topic for couples undergoing marriage counseling. Especially in today’s challenging economic times, couples face strained married relationships due to concerns about saving, finances, keeping a job and investing. Money and how the family’s finances are handled can be a source of arguments and bitter disagreements. The problem with money is that based on your upbringing, personal experiences and personality, it can mean a lot of different things. Money can be viewed as a source of enjoyment, security, love, control or power. That is why two people (who have different backgrounds and personalities) living together “as one” will eventually have to tackle money problems. Here are some reasons why couples fight about money: - Couples may not have the sam...

Make Time for Family Time

Most families are so busy these days with activities like the daily drive to and from school, hopping from school to ballet lessons or hockey practice, making cookies for the school bake sale, cooking meals, getting a haircut for your son and checking up on the children’s homework. Whew! A parent’s work is never done! Add to these activities a career, the need to exercise and stay fit, occasional social obligations, personal time and soon you may find that your marriage is suffering. In order to keep a marriage strong and healthy, some marriage therapy sessions may be needed. Some families also require family counseling occasionally simply because they have not had quality time to spend together and communications have broken down. Relationships in your family are so important but many families don’t have the needed time to spend with each other in order to build strong ties. Each relationship in your family is a bit different. Th...

Keeping the Sizzle in your Marriage

Has the sizzle in the bedroom started to fizzle out of your marriage? When you and your spouse began your relationship and all was new and exciting, you felt like you would never get tired of spending time together, both in and out of the bedroom. Inevitably, after a few years of marriage, both of you become caught up with the everyday activities, raising children and balancing family and career. You are hard at work and at times, you just can’t find the energy to spend intimate times together as you should. Keep the Fire Going Passion in a relationship is like a fire – it has to be kept going. Otherwise, it will dwindle. What makes it complicated is that males and females have different sexual needs and also view sex differently. A happy married life needs a strong sex life in order to survive. It is important to recognize at the onset that a couple’s sexual life will have some ups and downs. There are many factors that can affect the atmosphere in the b...

Is Your Spouse Having an Emotional Affair? Signs to Watch For

How do you define infidelity in a marriage? Does it mean having a physical or sexual relationship with someone other than a spouse? Or do you consider an emotional affair as also being unfaithful – even though nothing sexual has happened? How much closeness in a friendship can be considered okay? Emotional Affairs: Infidelity of the heart An emotional affair is present when your spouse is spending a lot of energy, emotion and time with another person outside of the relationship so much so that it is affecting your relationship. When a partner is having an emotional affair, he is putting an emotional distance between himself and his partner. He may be doing this out of feelings that the other person can give him something that he isn’t getting at home. There is a certain type of excitement in knowing that there is someone other than your spouse whom you can have an intimate relationship with. The result is a loss of intimacy between the two partners – a wedge...

Is Substance Abuse Victimizing your Teen?

Perhaps it all started with one sip or one puff. Then come the reasonings: The other kids do it as well and they look so cool. I couldn’t say no to my friends. They said that Ecstasy is a great way to party. I thought I could stop and get out anytime I wanted. Sadly, substance abuse is growing into a major problem for teens. Teens are trying a whole list of substances – tobacco, alcohol, marijuana and even progressing on to more dangerous stuff like cocaine and heroin. Based on findings from the 1998 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, young people ranging from 16 to 20 comprise a whopping 36.3 percent of current illicit drug users. What’s more, there are over 1 million teens aged 12 to 17 that can be considered dependent on illicit drugs and close to a million dependent on alcohol. There are also over 10 million young people ages 12 to 20 that drink alcohol with almost half considered to be binge drinkers. This is ev...

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