Red Flags that Point to an Affair
Is your spouse having an affair? What do you do when the admonition “love one another” is misinterpreted to mean “love another one”? Often, it is the other spouse who is the last to know. However, in hindsight, he or she can recall telltale signs that point to an affair.
Seeing the red flags can help you confront the situation sooner rather than later. It can give you the opportunity to try to rebuild the marriage before the situation makes a turn for the worse – where the affair gets past the point of no return, where it’s too late for marriage counseling Utah to help. For instance, the cheating spouse decides to leave the marriage or the affair resulted in pregnancy.
Here are some warning signs that indicate that your mate may be unfaithful:
- Unexplained and drastic changes in behavior. Your partner starts lavishing you with gifts – perhaps as a way of assuaging guilty feelings? She starts putting on makeup and dre...
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Peers and Parenting: Dealing with Bad Influences
“Everybody’s doing it, so why can’t I?”
“I don’t want my friends to call me a chicken. I want to look cool.”
“This is what everyone wears in school. I don’t want to look like a dork.”
Oftentimes, many a child is caught in trouble at the prodding or encouragement of peers, or based on the example these peers set. This is especially true for teens, where they are dealing with a confusing time in their lives, even as they struggle to discover who they are as an adult, the need for acceptance among peers becomes more intense.
The teenage years is the time when one starts experimenting. This may include skipping classes, trying on alcohol and even drugs, engaging in sex and other risky behavior. A study published in the journal Child Development conducted by the University of North Carolina (Chapel Hill) and University of Colorado (Boulder) indicated that teenagers who are concerned about acceptance are more vulnerable to peer pressure. Also, if a...
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Overcoming Sexual Addictions for a Stronger Marriage
Sexual addiction: it’s something that brings shame and guilt – a personal secret that affects an individual in the core of his or her being. Sex addicts are consumed by sex and thoughts of sex that there is difficulty connecting with other people and building quality relationships.
The obsession will also impact other aspects of the addict’s life since the compulsion leads him or her to act regardless of negative effects to his or her financial, emotional, health and social situation. Sex addicts don’t care how and where they get their satisfaction as long as they get it, even when there obviously is no bond with sex partners.
Sex addicts are prone towards taking serious risks – engaging in sexual activities that may be hazardous not just to his or her relationship but also to his or her health. The acts may include:
- Being a peeping tom
- The use of pornography, phone sex or cybersex
- Going for casual, anonymous sex (i.e. having sex with prostitutes, one night stands, etc.)...
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Marriage and Money: Couples and Their Money Personalities
How do you view and handle money? Is your tendency to spend or to splurge? Were your parents indulgent and bought you everything you asked for, or did they require you to save up for what you wanted? Were your parents constantly arguing about money? Our experiences, the way we were brought up and the values inculcated by family all contribute towards our “money personality”.
Money personalities may include one or the combination of the following:
- Spender. This is one who thinks that money is to be enjoyed and that things you buy can be used to enhance your life. Shopping is a thrill. The spender has no compunctions about swiping that credit card.
- Saver. This is one who feels the compulsion to cut corners to increase savings. The thrill is in getting a good deal. Thus you will find the saver armed with coupons and would be first in line during sales.
- The Play-It-Safer. Risk averse personalities would invest but choose someth...
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Identifying the Barriers to Marital Intimacy
Marriage is supposed to be a bond that is so close that two people become one. Marriage should ideally be a place where you feel free to show your true self, knowing that your partner will love and accept you as you are. However, it is also the union of two imperfect humans. What makes it more complicated is that there are other factors that can affect a marriage and its intimacy – issues with money, raising up children, dealing with in-laws and so on.
But if a married couple wants to enjoy more intimacy or to at least maintain a certain level of intimacy, they need to work at these barriers. Mind you, intimacy is not just about the sexual aspect of the relationship. More than that, it is “being one” on other levels – emotionally and intellectually.
The first step to building intimacy is to identify some of the barriers that prevent a couple’s closeness. By being pro-active, you can know what hinders you and your spouse from achieving the level of intimacy you want and work from ...
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Facing the “Empty Nest”
A marriage, a family has its stages. So you have lived through the highs and lows of marriage and parenting. You rejoiced at the news of each new addition to the family. You have struggled through sleepless nights caring for your young children. You survived the terrible twos and the teenage years. You wiped away tears of pride as you watched your children grow and move through the next phases of their lives – graduation, getting a job, getting married.
And the whirlwind of activities suddenly quiets down. The chicks have flown the coop – the nest you have lovingly built is now empty. After all the frenzy of activity, you now find yourself alone with your spouse. This “new-found freedom and independence” you once longed for suddenly becomes a not-so- attractive prospect. When you let your identity and purpose be defined by your children and you suddenly “lose” them to adulthood, this may require a lot of adjustment on you and your spouse’s part.
With a little help from ...
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Parenting Skills: How to Prepare for Adolescence
In the rapidly changing world of parenting, children seem to be growing up more rapidly than ever before. The world of teens and tweens is saturated with ever-increasing peer pressure and social anxiety. Children learn limits by testing them and it is vital for parents to enforce these limits. However, there are five considerable mistakes, or blunders that parents may be guilty of, which include:
Worst Case Scenario Survival – Parents that expect the worst from their teens often sets teens up for disappointing disapproval. Giving children the message that they are only “good” if they are not being “bad” sets them up for a disastrous outcome. Parents who teach children that they have negative expectations can often expect this to backfire, causing a child to act out this negativity and make parents’ worst fears a reality. Connecting with children creates an environment where open communication receives positive enforcement.
“But I...
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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Coping with Trauma
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, known as PTSD, is unique in that it requires experiencing a traumatic outside event. PTSD is often simultaneously associated with war veterans returning from battle with vivid, graphic events that trigger PTSD “shell shock” symptoms. Other experiences, e.g., domestic violence, sexual assault, car accidents, natural disasters and death of a loved one, can contribute to PTSD. Classic symptoms of PTSD include being in a mental state where someone feels as though they are re-experiencing the devastating trauma or everything around them triggers negative memories related to the ordeal.
Utah counselors receive special training and are well equip to help people suffering from PTSD. Therapists in Provo are able to make a valid PTSD diagnosis. In order to receive a PTSD diagnosis, a person must have experienced a situation where he/she felt his...
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Anxiety: Symptoms, Causes and Prevention
More than 19 million adults in the U.S.suffer from anxiety disorders. Women have a higher diagnosis of anxiety than men do but race is not a factor in predicting anxiety. Provo counseling specializes in working with patients who suffer from anxiety disorders, helping them regain control of their lives.
Today’s medical community has a great understanding and increased knowledge surrounding anxiety. Anxiety is a mental response to physical and/or mental stimuli and upon being provoked causes a physical reaction. The general, most common symptoms of anxiety disorders include:
Obsessive thoughts that are often uncontrollable and consuming
Vivid flashbacks or thoughts of traumatic experiences
Difficulty sleeping
Overwhelming feelings of panic, fear, dread and/or uneasiness
Nightmares
Heart Palpitations
Dizziness
Extreme muscle tension
Nausea...
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Anxiety: A Terror That Can Strike Without Warning
Anxiety is a disorder that causes feelings of terror and panic. These feelings are often so overwhelming that they can be debilitating.
Anxiety encompasses several different psychological disorders, including:
Panic Disorder often strikes suddenly without any warning. This type of disorder encompasses feelings of a panic attack, which can include chest pain, difficulty breathing, heart palpitations, excessive sweating and overwhelming thoughts of feeling crazy.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, known as OCD, is a condition where constant thoughts or fears become compulsive, often turning into regular routines or rituals. These obsessive thoughts can overtake one’s life. For example, people suffering from severe germ phobias may obsessively wash their hands, indicating a type of OCD behavior.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, known as PTSD, can not only develop in people who have been to war, but followin...
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