Therapy For College Aged Young Adults In Utah Valley

I often provide therapy or counseling for college aged young adults in Utah Valley. This is my speciality and what I love to do most as a counselor. Over the last two decades I've worked with many BYU, UVU and other students or young adults in this area of Utah. I will outline some of the more common issues that young adults in this regioun bring to therapy. Depression Young adults who need therapy often present with depression (Related Article: Depression in College Students). This can manifest in several ways. Often depression shows up in your motivation or interest. You might find yourself not as interested in things that you used to be interested in. It just doesn't seem fun anymore to do wha...

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Depression in College Students

Depression is Common among College Students It's common for college students to feel depressed. Now, when I say depression, I mean anything from just feeling down to feeling so depressed you can't get out of bed. It's important to know that feeling sad is a part of life. Feeling significant depression doesn't have to be, however. Everyone gets down from time to time, but depression is different (Related Article: What Is The Difference Between Sadness And Depression). So, if you are feeling down, know that others feel that way too. They might be able to help you if you reach out. Depression Versus Sadness What's the difference between the two? Well, one of the diff...

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Anxiety for College Students

Anxiety is Common for College Students Going to school at a university is stressful. Its hard moving out, entering your 20's, and trying to be social and date. Add on top of that the stress of college level classes and expectations. It's no wonder that anxiety is common for college age students. You have probably felt this yourself as you navigate this time of life. Part of the problem, however, is that anxiety is often left un addressed and untreated. Most people who suffer from it try to deal with it on their own. Counseling in Utah can be helpful and effective (Related Article: How Counseling Can Help Your Anxiety). I will outline several tips for dealing with anxiety that I teach my college aged clients here in Utah Valley. Tal...

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My Child Is A Struggling Young Adult

What do you do when your young adult child is struggling in Utah Valley? At this point, parenting is different. You don't have the same influence over them that you used to. They don't seem to listen and don't think you have all the answers anymore. Not like when they were young. It's difficult to know what to do to help them when they continue to make bad choices. Here are two things to consider that will help you help them (Related Article: How To Help A Struggling College Student With Mental Health). Mental Health for Young Adults Your young adult child might be open to talking about their mental health. It might not be now, but they will eventually be open to it if they trust you. So, be trustworthy. Talk with them abo...

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How To Help A Struggling College Student With Mental Health

Helping your young adult son or daughter when they are at college or are college aged is difficult. Knowing when to intervene and when to let them try can be difficult. I will outline several key principles to helping them as they grow into adulthood (Related Article: How Do I Help My Child Transition Into Adulthood). Talk With Them About Anything First, talk with them about anything they are going through. If you only reach out when you think they are struggling then they might not want to pick up the phone or respond to your texts. So, talk with them about what is going well and what they are interested in. Not just what you think they are struggling with. For example, you might ask them about the game they like to play onli...

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Pornography is an Avoidance Issue

Pornography is an avoidance issue. There are some who believe that using pornography is about sex. I have had clients tell me over the years that, 'I used to use porn, but that was just because we weren't having sex. It was just a sex thing'. Many clients believe that this is the case. It is important to note that this simply is not true. Pornography use releases dopamine in the brain. Dopamine is designed to feel good and help reward us for certain behaviors. Riding a bike, looking at a sunset, getting a good grade, eating good food - are all among the things that might release dopamine. Masturbation and orgasm release dopamine as well. When you use pornography, which is usually accompanied by masturbation and orgasm, you release more dopamine that your body is designed to take and it feels really good. People often use pornography when they are sad, tired, hungry, bored, etc... When these two things are pa...

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Effective Communication with your Spouse

One of the most common phrases I hear as a couples therapist in Orem is ‘I feel like…’. This is often paired with ‘I feel that…’. Both of these phrases are very misleading in regard to relationships and communication. Many couples I work with in therapy will start talking about their marriage problems by saying something such as, “I feel like he doesn’t care”. This is usually followed by defensiveness from him where he would say, “I do care!”. He then explains why he does care. The problem with the ‘I feel like…’ statement is that it sounds like you are talking about your emotions because you used the word ‘feel’. The problem is that you followed it up with ‘like’. This turns it into a thought rather than an emotion or feeling. Instead of talking about your feelings you are talking about your thoughts and they are usually blaming or at least focused on others rather than yourself. This is, seemingly, a safer place emotionally to be – talking about others instea...

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What To Do With Anger

Anger is a secondary emotion. A secondary emotion is one that covers up what you are really feeling. For example, if you are feeling hurt because of a recent break up with a significant other, it’s easy to also feel angry. Anger, a secondary emotion, comes along and covers up that hurt, the primary emotion. This often happens because when you are breaking up with a significant other there is a part of you that is afraid of being hurt more than you already have. So instead of going to them and telling them, ‘I’m really hurt and sad that we are breaking up’, you might get angry and post something mean about them on social media, or talk badly about them to your friends. This is in an effort to protect yourself from getting hurt more than you have been. If I share my hurt with them they could hurt me even more because I am vulnerable. So, you are acting angry, but what you are really feeling is hurt. The trick is to notice when you are angry and ask yourself, ‘Wha...

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When To Get Help For My Relationship Problems

When it comes to your relationship problems, early intervention is best – however, intervention at any point can still be helpful. Many couples come to therapy years after they probably needed to in the first place. I find that when couples wait it is more difficult to make changes and a lot of damage is done or at least unhealthy patterns already set. I often hear from each spouse that they have been struggling for decades. We work in therapy to undo patterns and habits that have been formed over long periods of time. It is possible to change the ways that couples interact. The sad thing about it is that they have lost a lot of time and also grieve for what could have been if they had sought help earlier. Some souses wait until their partner is ready to go to counseling. This can often be difficult as well because it keeps the willing spouse out of getting help they need – at least individually. My suggestion in this case, when one spouse is willing and the ot...

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How Do I Help My Child Transition into Young Adulthood?

Transitioning from adolescence to young adulthood is difficult. You usually don’t want to be told what to do – and most likely aren’t reading this article. But parents of young adults might be because you are struggling to help your child grow and figure out how to navigate life away from the nest. Depression, anxiety, pornography, drug use, issues with school or work and issues with significant others are among many difficulties young adults face during that transition from high school to college or from serving a Church mission to being back in college. Over the years, as a counselor in Orem, Utah, I’ve noticed a few things that parents do who successfully help their child navigate this period. First, they give them space. Your child is going to make mistakes. Giving them space to do so shows that you trust them and honor their ‘adulthood’. This doesn’t mean, however, that you run the other way and cut them off. They need a safe place to come back to, in a co...

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