Counseling – Leaning In Toward Your Spouse

As I have traveled across Scandinavian and Europe recently, I have noticed one thing – people are the same everywhere. They need love, connection, relationships and seek for happiness. As I was with my wife in Oslo, Norway at Fronger Park (most notably known for the ‘Angry Baby’ statue), I noticed several couples showing interesting tendencies. One couple I noticed was on a date. They were sitting in the grass with a bottle of wine and food between them. They were leaning towards each other – literally. I could tell that they were on a date and enjoying themselves and each other. Another couple I saw were in obvious distress. The woman was laying on the grass, turned away from her husband who was standing 10 feet from her looking the opposite direction. She seemed angry as she was in tears and holding her child. I happened to run across this couple a few times in the park. I never saw them talk to each other and the look on the woman’s face remained upset. I could tell that they were in the middle of an argument and not getting along.

When I work in counseling with couples, I often notice where the couple is ‘leaning’ – literally and figuratively. Researcher Dr. John Gottman has found that this matters to the health of your relationship. Do we find ourselves leaning into our spouse when things get difficult or do we lean out? Leaning in towards your spouse might help you find solutions to your problems that you might not find on your own.